Tag Archives: Top Chef Masters

Top Chef Masters: Nostalgic Finale Edition

16 Jun

Host Curtis Stone checks in with San Francisco finalist Traci Des Jardins. - via Bravo TV

Last night brought the finale of Bravo’s Top Chef Masters, and our SF-based Traci Des Jardins was in it to win it. On the line was $100,000 for the cheftestants’ charity of choice. For those of us rooting for the home team, we hoped La Cocina would be victorious.

The episode began with the remaining three chefs (Des Jardins, Mary Sue Milliken, and Floyd Cardoz) joining host Curtis Stone and critics James Oseland, Ruth Reichl, and Gael Greene in the kitchen. The final challenge was to create the three-course meal of their lives. The first course was to be inspired by their first food memory, the second course was about what made them want to be a chef, and the third was critic’s choice.

Des Jardins was paired with our favorite insatiable critic, Greene, who wanted French-inspired fried duck. Des Jardins is trained in classic French cookin, so she looked relieved and then overjoyed when Morgan Mueller, her executive chef at Jardinière, got to join her for the challenge. Greene to Des Jardins: “This is kismet.”

The dish that made Des Jardins want to be a chef? A quail salad from Zola in San Francisco during the ’70s. It was served at the exact moment when she was figuring out if she wanted to go to college and her life was forever changed.

When it came down to prepping and cooking, Los Angeles native Mary Sue Milliken knew it was a rainy day in LA. She kept all of her shopping to one stop and was the first in the kitchen. Unfamiliar with the local traffic, New Yorker Floyd Cardoz made several grocery stops that kept him out for far too long and left him to enter the kitchen with the shortest amount of time on the clock. The only twist for the finale was a sexy and sweet one: Host Stone made a surprise light lunch for the finalists.

Diners for the last supper of the series included OG Top Chef head judge Tom Colicchio and Top Chef Masters alums such as Milliken’s other cooking half, Susan Feniger. Milliken explained that in this Laverne and Shirley of food relationships, she always has Feniger try things first. (We like to call it the canary in the coalmine method.) Case in point: Feniger did Top Chef Masters first and married Milliken’s husband first. Quick, Bravo, get these ladies a spinoff show!

Milliken prepared Asian tartare, shrimp two ways, and the lemon soufflé Reichl requested. Reichl noted that this dessert enhances and continues her love affair with lemons, and Alan Sytsma (who used to work with her at Gourmet) added that the dish tasted like Reichl.

Des Jardins made shrimp Creole, quail with sweetbreads, and duck two ways. Unfortunately, it was not fried, and Greene was happy with only one of the duck preparations. When asked whether she would still be a food critic if she was served this duck several years ago, her answer was no. We were heartbroken, but liked the idea of Green still writing “silly stories for Cosmopolitan about how not to get dumped by your husband on his way up.” Cardoz served the most subtly complex meal with a polenta upma with coconut milk and mushrooms similar to his afterschool snack, snapper in a tomato and fennel broth, and the rendang Oseland requested and loved.

The competition was as stiff as Stone’s overgelled hair, but Cardoz was crowned the Top Chef Master. His winnings support the Young Scientist Cancer Research Fund, selected in honor of his late father. We were bummed that Des Jardins didn’t win, but in her stint she raked in $30,000 for La Cocina — masterful work!

Original published on sfweekly.com – Original Post

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Traci Des Jardins on Top Chef Masters, Duck Love, and Pop-Ups

16 Jun

Courtesy Traci Des Jardins

​Our local Top Chef Masters cheftestant Traci Des Jardins didn’t win the title last night, but she did take home more than $30,000 for La Cocina and made us very proud. We spoke with her this afternoon, just for the duck of it.

SFoodie: We have been so excited watching the dollars roll into La Cocina and hearing the nationally televised shoutouts. So, our first question: Why La Cocina?

Traci Des Jardins: I was on the board for many years, up until a year and half ago, and I love the organization. I wanted something food related and something that was unique to San Francisco. It’s just such a cool concept.

Any idea what they will do with their winnings?

Caleb [Zigas, director of La Cocina] and I are going to sit down and talk soon. It will definitely be a conversation. I am all too familiar with their financials so I know that $30,000 is a lot of money for them. It’s exciting.

When we learned in the finale that the dish that made your paired partner Gael Greene want to be a food critic was duck in France, we felt relieved for you. Gael said it was “kismet” — is that what how you felt?

Absolutely, it was a sigh of relief. Duck is one of my favorite foods in the whole world. I am the second-largest buyer in the Bay Area of duck, according to my purveyor. I always have duck confit and breast on my menu. It was totally perfect.

Gael wanted fried duck and you didn’t give it to her. Are any recipes coming your way?

[Laughs] Um, yeah, I can’t imagine any French person frying a duck. Gael has her memory and I knew going in that it was a tough translation. I had to translate something and the results were not resounding.

If you had to do it over again, would you still do duck the two ways?

I think I would. Product is really important and I wasn’t familiar with that particular product. I didn’t know that duck and that was my downfall.

What is your favorite place in S.F. that no one would ever guess?

I’m loving the pop-up thing and the spirit of that. I know it has been written about like crazy, but I really love Mission Chinese Food. It is a way to take an idea and passion without needing tons of money. For young chefs, they don’t have to deal with the financial aspect of running a restaurant.

Would you be interested in hosting a pop-up and/or working with any of those young chefs in the city?

Definitely, Mission Chinese Food or the Wise Sons guys. The Bay Area was missing that. It’s just fun to see young people and their passion.

 
Original published on sfweekly.com – Original Post

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Top Chef Masters: Family Ties

9 Jun

We were unsure of how we’d manage without Hugh(nibrow) on Top Chef Masters, and for the first episode without him, we were tweezed in two. Luckily, we still managed to stay tuned.

For the Quickfire, the cheftestants had to have their cooking station divided and work with a mystery teammate on the other side to create an identical dish with only verbal commands. In fact, these mystery people were the chefs’ family members. Classic twist! Here we go.

Traci yelled “Chiffonade” many times before she realized that her mystery man (her brother) didn’t know the term and had to settle for mince. She then knew this obviously wasn’t a culinary student.

But no one was more embarrassed than Naomi, who incessantly screamed at the man later revealed as her own father, “Who doesn’t know what a shallot looks like?” “I’m not getting disqualified because you can’t crack an egg.”

Traci and her younger brother, Mitch, made identical plates and Curtis admitted that he couldn’t decide which he liked more. The halibut with asparagus in a brown butter balsamic vinaigrette was a winner, and won yet another $5,000 for La Cocina.

The family theme stuck around for the Elimination, assigned to work with a relative of someone in the military. The challenge: create a homecoming meal for military servicemembers returning from overseas. Their relatives spilled the beans on their favorite foods — and some of the chefs were in for a heavy battle.

Traci remarked, “I can make some fancy French dish easier than I can make a meatloaf.” Mary Sue, of the Border Grill, was so glad that her guy was Guatemalan, meaning she could use spice and cook the food she loved. Floyd, on the other hand, got a guy who liked his food bland; beef, spinach salad, and clam chowder were the only approved foods. No problem, Floyd worked it. He was also charming as hell, saying that he served everyone that night because it was only right — after all, they served us. Floyd was the only one to receive a special military coin from his serviceman as a token of gratitude. He got teary and later brought it out when questioned for his bland tenderloin, reassuring himself that he cooked for the right person.

Mary Sue and her tomatillo barbecue ribs with avocado corn relish and potato and rajas were deemed the winner, and she was served with the first spot in the finale.

The other three chefs were sent to judges’ table and hairs were split on the biggest cooking mistake: Floyd’s tenderloin too plain, Traci’s meatloaf too salty, or if the shrimp in Naomi’s fried rice were underdone. In the end, Naomi, the youngest of the remaining chefs, was sent home. We didn’t mind; we wanted to send her home after she said poke was the “national” dish of Hawaii, which is, of course, a state. Screw your former independence, Hawaii! You belong to us now!

Which, of course, means that San Francisco’s very own Traci Des Jardins is in the finale. We hope that she will pull a Yigit and bring another Top Chef crown to the city! The finale will be next week, and of course we’ll be watching and reporting.

Original published on sfweekly.com – Original Post

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Top Chef Masters Recap: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Microwave

2 Jun

Hugh and his magnificent unibrow.

After last week’s rerun, we were amped for last night’s all new Top Chef Masters. What we were not so amped about? The episode’s title, “Blinded Me with Science.” We didn’t go blind, but we came close pulling an optic nerve rolling our eyes at the lame Thomas Dolby reference.

The episode began with the best and/or worst thing to happen to cooking: the microwave. Each contestant had to create a breakfast dish using only the power of electromagnetic waves. Our second favorite cheftestant, Hugh(nibrow), revealed that he and his family were on the cutting edge, riding the microwave wave all the way back in 1976. He then diabolically laughed that he had one friend that wasn’t allowed over because the parents feared radiation. Charming!

The rest of the chefs had radiation fear: Naomi grew up in a microwave-free household and doesn’t have one in her home or restaurant, while Mary Sue claims to use it only to reheat her tea. Whatever, appliance snobs!

Like something out of a mad scientist’s wet dream, the guest judges were two comedians fused together in the form of Frangela (Francis and Angela). Even though everyone seemed to make the same dish — zapped chanterelles and eggs — longtime microwaver Hugh was deemed the winner.

For the elimination challenge, we got schooled. Chef, host, and hair gel lover Curtis went into a long lecture about how recipes are like formulas, There was also something about chemical reactions. Much as in science class, we forgot to take notes.

Shortly after, five scientists in lab coats arrived and did a little demo on Maillard reactions by torching raw beef. They followed this up with a explainer on emulsions, using a shaken vinaigrette to show how a bunch of stuff can get mixed up with a bunch of other stuff.

The cheftestants then had to pick one of the scientific principles and create a dish showcasing it for a children’s science fair. Luckily, they got one of the scientists as a laboratory assistant. They also learned that they’d be cooking exclusively with beakers, test tubes, and Bunsen and induction burners. The science went way over Hugh’s head and his scientist, Augustine, gave him the biggest liquid nitrogen burn: “You’re not a scientist. You have to be curious to be a scientist.” Ice-cold!

On the other end of the scientific spectrum, we learned that Floyd has a master’s in biochemistry. San Francisco’s very own Traci dodged a big Bunsen bullet when she chose acidity and demoed the most obvious difference between acid on tuna and acid penetrating and cooking tuna, as in a ceviche.

For the science fair, the grandes dames of non-Master Top Chef were back. Regular host Padma Lakshmi was a guest judge, and along for the ride was Ruth Reichl, who has been absent as top critic for far too long. Padma said this was the first time she ever ate out of a Petri dish, which we kinda doubt. You know Padma loves to eat out of scientific equipment. Don’t lie, girl!

Mary Sue took top prize with her dulce de leche stuffed churros that demonstrated viscosity. In her demo, we learned that dulce de leche is slower to drip than the spiced café de olla sauce. Then we fell asleep and dreamed we were watching something interesting.

Hugh had to pack his knives and go after squabbling with James Oseland over his weak emulsion demonstration and whether the mayonnaise particles broke. Hugh blamed tomato water, but James didn’t buy it. We’ll miss the best furrowed unibrow, pursed lips, and eyerolls ever to grace any cheftestant. We’re even contemplating a trip to his Georgia restaurant just to see him get annoyed in person.

Next week appears to be all about homecomings, including cheftestant family reunions and cooking for soldiers coming back from war. We’ll be watching and reporting.

Original published on sfweekly.com – Original Post

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Top Chef Masters, Week 7: Of Love and Body Parts (Some Severed)

19 May

Gael Greene: Fan of the kama sutra.

Last night’s Top Chef Masters began with senses-blocking toys: blindfolds and earplugs and and nose plugs, oh my. For the Quickfire, the cheftestants could have only one orifice (or limb) open at a time, going from their mouths, to their noses, to their hands, to their ears.

Hugh(nibrow) proved victorious, from his gummi-sensitive hands to his keen ear for the sound of oysters being shucked and toast being buttered.

For the Elimination, we went from the standard senses to the biggest organ of all, the human heart. We were introduced to a guy who was ready to propose to his girlfriend, and the Masters were asked to create a six-course meal to document their love ― and to be tasted by the judges along with more than 20 other couples. Hugh summed it up most eloquently: “This is poignant … and makes me throw up in my mouth.” We learned that the dream girl in question introduced her guy to sushi, and tricked him into thinking that salmon was chicken. How dumb is he? The best moment was Mary Sue‘s shock that he’d never eaten shellfish, “You think you’re ready to get married, and you never had clams or mussels?”

Our very own Traci decided to take on desserts this time around, but it proved a challenge, especially since the kitchen scale was off. Sadly, she wasn’t the only one who had bad luck. Mary Sue chopped off the top of her thumb during this lovable challenge.

The insatiable Gael Greene was a guest judge. She remarked how sad she was to tear apart the spooning kama sutra shrimp on Floyd‘s dish. Best part of the episode was listening to our favorite story about Gael Greene’s hour with Elvis, involving a hotel room and later, a sandwich order. That’s always and forever so darn hot!

The dinner was nice, but pretty sweat-inducing since everyone was on proposal watch. Finally, when the dessert plates arrived scrawled with the magic words “je t’aime,” the girlfriend sort of got it. Then Curtis stole the show with an announcement, and passed it on to the gentleman to ask the all-important question. Relax, it wasn’t the most awkward moment in TV history: She said yes!

The winner was Naomi for her porcini-braised chicken thigh and sweet potatoes two ways. Tracy, Hugh, and Celina were at the bottom. The couple may have had a thing for pretzels and beer at sporting events, but Celina’s plain pretzel with salad on a plate didn’t woo the judges ― she was sent packing.

Next week’s episode promises to be less about love and more about chemistry … at an edible science fair. Sounds geeky. We’ll be watching.

Original published on sfweekly.com – Original Post

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Top Chef Masters, Week 6: Traci Gives Adam What He Wants, Scores Big for La Cocina

12 May

Adam Levine.

​We know there’s a rockin’ contestant from Santa Cruz still in the running to be the Next American Idol (be sure to overenunciate every word, like Seacrest), but SFoodie is all about the fact that S.F. chef Traci Des Jardins is still in the running to be the Next Top Chef Master. Plus, Idol seems like yesterday’s singing-based reality competition show, now that The Voice has proved a more interesting contender. Last night’s Top Chef Masters was sweet music to our ears, and eyes, if that’s possible. You know what we mean.

The heavenly episode began with a seven-minutes-in-heaven Quickfire. The cheftestants had a spread of the most luxurious and delicious ingredients but only seven minutes to create a dish, beating the existing Quickfire record by more than 60 seconds. Hugh(nibrow) was worried his underpoached tuna belly turned out to be perhaps the most elaborate cat food ever. The others agreed, which was bad because the seven remaining finalists acted as the judges, number-rating each other (and themselves) for everyone to see. Traci and her simple beef tenderloin carpaccio with truffle, maitake mushrooms, and balsamic was everybody’s favorite — another $5,000 for La Cocina, plus immunity for our hometown chef. The only thing that would’ve been better is if we’d been granted alone time in a dark closet with that raw tenderloin.

Traci was a total rock star.

Traci’s win gave her first pick for building a team and a choice between having more or fewer chefs on her side (she chose more). The Elimination Challenge brought Voice coach Adam Levine and the rest of the Maroon 5 gang. The cheftestants were asked to make a family-style meal for the band, taking into consideration each member’s particular likes. We counted, and we get it, there are five band members. Adam likes Japanese food and steak, there’s a guy from Nebraska who wanted corn, a vegan who wanted Mexican, a spanakopita guy, and a guy who wanted Thanksgiving on a plate. But that was just the beginning, since each team was also given its own rock-star tourbus to cook in. Suddenly, Traci’s decision to have four instead of three chefs on her team was problematic in the cramped quarters. They prepped while the driver took extrawide turns. Somehow, they made it work, with Floyd taking an induction burner into the bathroom to sear off beef. Hell, that beats Colonel Mustard in the library with a candlestick.

The Red Team (Floyd, Alex, and Celina) featured dishes cooked almost entirely by Alex, and in a cafeteria-style kind of way. His tapioca with what were described as “grape contacts” caused the night’s first bit of judging controversy. Adam loved it, James Oseland didn’t, snidely adding, “Taste is subjective.” Adam countered with, “I’m gonna stab you with this fork!”

Mary Sue of Traci’s Black Team covered the bed in tostadas, a fetish Hugh said he’d never heard of. The completed vegan tostadas were said to look like “poop rolled in birdseed,” a fetish we’re pretty sure does exist.

Later, James recovered major Maroon cred when he called a dish “flaccid.”

The Black Team won the challenge, and Traci’s dish was once again the rock star of the competition (another $10,000 for La Cocina). She gave Adam exactly what he wanted by combining his two favorite foods: Japanese-style steak with a miso-braised daikon, cucumber, and pea shoot salad.

The person packing his knives? Alex, the guy with too many dishes in the air and on the table, with the taste of stress oozing from each one. Last night’s episode was titled “I’m with the Band.” We can now firmly say that we’re with this show.

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Top Chef Masters, Week 5: Slow Food at the Drive-Through

5 May

This way to the quinoa fritters.

​Last night’s Top Chef Masters was called “Would You Like Fries with That?” ― a full-on low-end episode with the Masterstouch.

The Quickfire was dollar-menu style, as the cheftestants had to make an appetizer with a price tag for ingredients that couldn’t exceed $1, total. Since an onion cost 48 cents, the challenge proved costly and difficult. Brendan Newman and Rico Gagliano from the Dinner Party Download were the guest judges.

“This is like from the fanciest dollar store in the world,” Newman said.

The challenge winner was a woman who knew how to shave as much as possible from two spears: Naomi‘s asparagus and bread salad with cherry tomatoes and lemon vinaigrette clocked in at 90-something cents.

The Elimination Challenge was kept under Saran wraps. All the cheftestants knew was that they were to create a main dish and a side for 100 people at a mystery location and the diners would have no utensils. According to Hugh(nibrow) and his pursed lips, “I’m completely in the dark about what this can be, and that scares the poop out of me.”

They arrived at a Farmer Boys to learn that they’d be manning a fast-food restaurant. The chefs, who had already chosen pork loin, salmon, or clams, had to either alter their dish or stay true.

The group broke in two, with the first bunch working the counter and drive-through window while the second bunch cooked. Then, in the middle of the lunch rush, they’d have to switch. Most chefs were super out of their element; others reminisced about their days at fast-food pizza joints, or how they begged a Bennigans manager for a job.

It quickly became clear that the food was coming out of the kitchen anything but fast. “It’s like an architect who builds beautiful, tall, awesome buildings but can’t even make a house out of Legos,” Hugh noted.

Half the critics walked in while the rest did drive-through. Service sucked. Host/chef/judge Curtis honked at the drive-through after dead air greeted him at the order kiosk. The chefs were cut a lot of slack for service, even though they’d all have easily been fired from a real McJob. Really, it all came down to the food, from concept to taste.

The bottom three ― Alex, George, and Celina ― had the most ill-conceived dishes. Alex produced a measly salmon taco that ate more like a mini burrito. George felt the need to ask the question, “You didn’t think the clam in the cucumber was easy to eat?” and Celina’s wrap was more of an unwrap.

The top three: Mary Sue, our Traci, and Floyd. Traci’s chicken verde burrito caused Curtis to fist-pump the table in delight and the critics to agree that it was the easiest of the dishes to eat with one hand on the wheel. But the person taking top prize was normally-at-the-bottom Mary Sue for her skirt steak quesadilla diablo, with a side of quinoa fritters with sweet pepper and garlic mayo.

The worst fast-food adapter, George, was sent home. His food was ugly, and his pork and chorizo skewers with a clam, cucumber, and olive side made zero sense.

We have to say we gained a new appreciation for fast food and its systems. And we’re excited about the rock-band tour bus the chefs will be cooking out of next week. SFoodie just can’t get enough of Adam Levine on the Voice ― we’re ready to see him feed from the hand of the Masters.

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Top Chef Masters: Traci Des Jardins Hosts Her Own Party

28 Apr

SFoodie got word that cheftestant Traci Des Jardins would be having a Top Chef Masters viewing party at her casual dining joint, Public House. It was, of course, open to the public, so we headed down there for a seat at the bar. The sound of the show was piped through the entire restaurant and bar, but only a few of the TVs were tuned to Bravo. As compensation, Public House was broadcasting the East Coast feed, so we were getting the info early — with butterscotch pudding and an Allagash White, to boot. Not too shabby.

Traci was at a big table with family and friends. At first, we were shocked to hear people cheering at weird moments in the show, and then we realized that some of the customers were watching a hockey game. The crowd gave off the biggest gasp when one of the chefs was sent to pack up knives. But let’s rewind to the TV show:

Last night’s Top Chef Masters started off rather cheesy. The Quickfire: create a masterful cheese dish. The always-skeptical Traci remarked that this was too easy for Masters. Then came the twist: The chefs had only 12 minutes to make it. As our Hugh(nibrow) noted, “12 minutes? It takes me longer to shave.”

We then got to hear Chef Curtis pronounce Gouda as “gowda” more times than we want to remember. The chef who really worked the cheese for the guest judge, the owner of the Cheese Shop in Beverly Hills, was our Traci. She made a colombier and prosciutto carpaccio with arugula and croutons — according to the judge, the pairing allowed the cheese to “talk.” The crowd went wild: Another $5,000 for La Cocina.

The elimination challenge that followed was majorly loserish and reductive. Out walks the host of The Biggest Loser with a table full of fatty foods. “Gut-bomb central,” noted Hugh. The foods turned out to be the Biggest Loser contestants’ favorites before they went on the show, and even though they were on the weight-loss path, they still had cravings.

Here’s where the chefs came in: They had to work in teams to create breakfast, lunch, and dinner under 1,500 calories total. Each dish assigned to each cheftestant normally contained more than 1,500 calories alone. Most of the chefs mentioned how foreign the thought of calories was to them. (Be scared, diners, be very scared.) Some chefs simply shrank the original dish, while others took substitution risks and huge creative license.

The most shocking dish presented came from Suvir, the now very well-known vegetarian chef. His biggest loser loved and craved bacon cheeseburgers with fries; his version was a veggie burger in a pita with an Asian slaw. Aside from the tomato, there was nothing present in the dish that his loser wanted. Suvir also presented the dish with a long talk about red meat being an enemy to the heart, which angered the heart of Hugh(nibrow), who had to present his red meat dish right after. In his well-shaded eyes, a line was crossed. Hugh presented his flank steak as “good and not as sinister as Suvir made it out to be,” and a talk was had in the kitchen, with a lot of sarcastic “sinister” lines dropped.

The winner: Floyd’s buffalo balls. His substitute for a meatball sub was a buffalo meatball — the meat is apparently much leaner than beef — over farro, with spinach, cheese, tomato sauce, and asparagus.

Unfortunately, Suvir strayed too far from the task and had to pack his knives for not satisfying his customer. The crowd let out a loud boo and a gasp at Public House — and our night of public Top Chef Masters viewing was over.

Original published on sfweekly.com – Original Post

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Top Chef Masters: Crickets and Curveballs

21 Apr

Last night’s Top Chef Masters was for the crickets — well, bug eaters. The Quickfire Challenge was to make a five-star dish using bugs and wild plants. Looking at the worms, nightcrawlers, and scorpions, the cheftestants were creepy-crawly freaked out. (The captioning under Alex read, “I can’t f***ing do this.”) Well, they had to: $5,000 for their charity and immunity was at stake. They were soon grilling and frying up bugs. (Except for Suvir, who grew up as a practicing Hindu vegetarian; he could cook meat, but not take a life. His bugs were served alive in a jar, with a small torch for the taste testers to finish them off.)

The guest judges were the hosts of Man, Woman, Wild. Superhot host Curtis Stone ate around most of the bugs in the judging, and when he finally tried some, he looked like he was going to hurl … not attractive, Curtis! More of those looks, and you’ll move to our number two slot for Sexiest Man in Food TV.

The winner of this challenge was Hugh (we’re so mad that we didn’t come up with the nickname Hughnibrow first), who made tempura crickets over carrot and sunchoke puree.

The Elimination Challenge wasn’t nearly as Fear Factor like. The chefs had to create a 10-course dinner to raise money for the charities they are playing for. It seemed simple enough — one dish per person — but S.F.’s own Traci remarked that it all felt a little too easy and that something didn’t seem quite right.

We awaited curveballs, and boy, did they come. First, no running was allowed in the kitchen. Second, the chefs had half an hour removed from their allotted three hours of prep. Finally, there were no servers: The chefs would have to step in. Naomi and Hugh both wanted to take control and butted heads.

The critics’ table was a little different this time around; no Ruth Reichl. Alan Sytsma, editor of Grub Street, was the guest judge. We learned that his first job in his food writing career was as an assistant to James Oseland, the head critic at the table and at Saveur. Can we get an awkward turtle soup up in here?

The differences in experience were highlighted with the reception of Traci’s dish, a roasted ribeye and slow-cooked broccoli with red wine sauce and fried shallots. Restaurant Girl Danyelle Freeman called it “musty,” while Sytsma called it “swampy.” Oseland responded with, “You guys are young; you’ve just been brainwashed by all of this noncooking of vegetables. What Traci has given us here is bold cooked vegetables.”

The diners voted for their favorite dishes and each gave $100 to that charity. In a rare move, the critics and the diners agreed on a dish and thus the chef. The winner was Naomi and her celery veloute with salsa verde and lemon oil.

The least favorites weren’t bad, just bland. The chef packing his knives was John, who played it safe with a one-note risotto.

Next week, the cheftestants will be cooking for the contestants on The Biggest Loser — and we are big enough losers that we will be watching and reporting for you.

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Top Chef Masters, Week 2: Kelis Is Picky About Balls, Joan About Her Eggs

14 Apr

The first two minutes of last night’s Top Chef Masters were exciting, as cheftestant John S. had to leave because of an emergency at home. Naomi, of Portland’s Beast, smirked that the competition was one person less stiff and then … last week’s reject got to return! Hugh, master of the salty scallop, was resurrected. We were glad to see his pursed lips again.

The Quickfire was balls to the wall, as the masters had to make their own meatballs. The twist: They had to mince their own meat with tiny handheld grinders, form balls, and plate, all in 30 minutes.

Kelis (you know, the girl whose milkshake brings all the boys to the yard) was the guest judge. Shocking fact: She’s a trained chef ― we always thought “milkshake” referred to booby-shakin’, not some actual gourmet milk beverage. Non-shocking fact: Kelis loves meatballs.

The chefs were so annoyed by Kelis’s critiques, it was awesome. She compromised dishes by refusing to eat the bread around a ball sandwich, then complained if it was too salty. S.F.’s own Traci was more than irritated when Kelis said her balls were bland, mentioning dill when in fact it was tarragon she was tasting. Then she refused to eat her consommé with a spoon.

Hugh was mad that Kelis didn’t like the yogurt in his balls. His response: “We are talking about Mediterranean, where these flavors are used in conjunction all the time. They work together; it’s just pointless criticism.” The Kelis nonsense continued, as she called his broth “show-offy,” explaining that everything should “stand up on its own.” Silly chefs ― Kelis liked her balls straight up, then wanted to talk curve appeal. She finally found something she liked in John C.‘s Vietnamese chicken balls.

The Elimination challenge took us back to the ’60s. The cheftestants drew fondue sticks and came up with things like chicken a la king, oysters Rockefeller, beef stroganoff…. Buxom redhead Christina Hendricks (Joan from Mad Men) and her real-life hubby, Geoffrey Arend (from Body of Proof) appeared. Self-described foodies, they explained how they’re surrounded by all this dated food at Mad Men cocktail parties and they just don’t like it. Cue the cheftestants, who were tasked with making appetizer portions of these classic dishes side-by-side with updated versions to serve at one of the Hollywood couple’s parties.

It seemed simple enough, but we couldn’t stop laughing at the chef who had no clue about ambrosia.

Suvir is still our favorite: He’s so calm and confident, admiring his red shoes. When all of the burners were spoken for and he felt like a refugee, he helped the others so they’d get done faster rather than acting like a diva. He even put his veal in the deep-fryer, the only cooking station not occupied. A cheftestant in a similar predicament was Sue. They both sacrificed themselves so others could get their dishes done first.

The winner was Mary Sue for her very clever deviled eggs. The modern version was a Japanese-style poached egg with umeboshi and mustard-miso mayonnaise.

The bottom three included the selfless Sue and Suvir, along with Alessandro, who made a chai-scented-candle version of bread pudding. The judges’ choice was between shoe-leather veal, empty plates, or bad puddin’. Final verdict: The chef who didn’t finish plating had to go. Bye, Sue!

Original published on sfweekly.com – Original Post

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