Tag Archives: funny

Hot Cock Sauce, FTW!

20 Jun

I recently received an email from Cooking School.net asking if I would share a graphic on the benefits of Sriracha, My answer was yes, since a bowl of healing hot & sour soup or even chicken noodle has been kicked up a notch when I started adding a squirt of this magical sinus clearing sauce. Also, as someone who lived in the SGV for a couple years, I like any local business.

So, let the infographics fill your brain and remember to squirt on.

Eat Sriracha For Your Health
Created by: CookingSchools.net

Bird Brain: Stupid Parent Mistakes

31 Mar

 

I was born and raised in Santa Cruz, California and so I thought I knew hippie dippy stuff, but I thought wrong.  Four years ago when my mom was separating from my stepdad they seemed very adamant that they didn’t want my little brother to have to suffer more and move from house to house. Since everyone was on good terms and it was a financial option, my mom took it upon herself to do something called “birdnesting,” which meant that the child would stay in the home and the parents would go in and out. Here’s a local article about the concept and another family who practices this. The way it worked was that my brother stayed in his room and four nights a week my mom would live at the house, two nights a week my stepdad would be there and sleep in a guest bedroom, and then one night a week they would all be there and live in the same house. I was living in LA at the time and this just sounded like the absolute weirdest thing to me. The entire house now basically belonged to my 7 year old brother?!? That couldn’t be healthy.

Anyway, it actually worked for my family for about a year and then people grow up, actual divorce had to happen and this “perfect solution” was no longer an option.

I thought that was the end of weird bird examples and parenting and then this video of Alicia Silverstone surfaced. I was  a girl who grew up in the 90s so Alicia was god and Clueless and Crush were my bibles.The vegan Alicia with bad skin and hair is just not my thing, I wish she could see herself as Cher would, “As if”

I mean, seriously. Remember Cher?

I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M’s and like 3 pieces of licorice.

Now imagine her chewing up her food and spitting it into her child’s mouth. The visual is as gross as Mary’s neighbor Magda tongue kissing Puffy.

 

Sticking to Kosher Meat: For Love and For Health

13 Apr

Photo Credit to DinnerCraft on Flickr

It has been almost a year since my last relationship ended. It was a sad situation and it came in the form of a break-up email I had to send to my ex-boyfriend who was stuck in Europe. Since then, I made new friends and choices and was told by my business and religious mentor to stick to kosher meat. He meant this in terms of trying to strictly date Jewish men. The theory behind it was that while I am still young, my heart and livelihood would be better off if I only dated people that I would consider marrying. A rabbi later pushed this point by saying that marrying a Jew doesn’t guarantee success but it does help your chances for a successful marriage. Up until that point, I have dated a lot of “interesting” people but none of which I would have ever considered marrying: an out of work actor/scientologist, a homeless man, an anarchist named Pogo, and other winners. They were all beautiful and fascinating people but I decided to get serious about dating for the sake of less broken hearts. The journey with Jewish men has been healthier, rational, but not quite the amount of intensity (i.e. drama, according to Josie) that I was looking for. Through my time on Jdate I have discovered that there are a ton of non-Jewish women on there trying to nail a Jewish man…clearly there is something healthy about this idea of kosher meat.

In fact, if you read today’s New York Times article entitled More People Choosing Kosher for Health there is definitely something to this notion. According to the article there is a huge kosher meat trend not because of religious reasons but because the public views it as healthier and safer. All of the meat has to be processed under strict kosher law and is monitored extremely carefully, from the way it is killed to the way it is butchered. All kosher meat is also heavily salted which helps to keep away certain bacteria, making it a safe choice.

I can make obvious (albeit uncouth) links about the Orthodox Union heavily monitoring the meat to the Jewish mother monitoring her son or about the careful butchering of meat to Jewish men with circumcisions. However, what do you think? Do you view Jewish men and kosher meat as a safer and healthier option? I do, in fact, that is what I intend to say to my future Jewish husband before we eat kosher brisket at the wedding reception.

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