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Hot Cock Sauce, FTW!

20 Jun

I recently received an email from Cooking School.net asking if I would share a graphic on the benefits of Sriracha, My answer was yes, since a bowl of healing hot & sour soup or even chicken noodle has been kicked up a notch when I started adding a squirt of this magical sinus clearing sauce. Also, as someone who lived in the SGV for a couple years, I like any local business.

So, let the infographics fill your brain and remember to squirt on.

Eat Sriracha For Your Health
Created by: CookingSchools.net

Bird Brain: Stupid Parent Mistakes

31 Mar

 

I was born and raised in Santa Cruz, California and so I thought I knew hippie dippy stuff, but I thought wrong.  Four years ago when my mom was separating from my stepdad they seemed very adamant that they didn’t want my little brother to have to suffer more and move from house to house. Since everyone was on good terms and it was a financial option, my mom took it upon herself to do something called “birdnesting,” which meant that the child would stay in the home and the parents would go in and out. Here’s a local article about the concept and another family who practices this. The way it worked was that my brother stayed in his room and four nights a week my mom would live at the house, two nights a week my stepdad would be there and sleep in a guest bedroom, and then one night a week they would all be there and live in the same house. I was living in LA at the time and this just sounded like the absolute weirdest thing to me. The entire house now basically belonged to my 7 year old brother?!? That couldn’t be healthy.

Anyway, it actually worked for my family for about a year and then people grow up, actual divorce had to happen and this “perfect solution” was no longer an option.

I thought that was the end of weird bird examples and parenting and then this video of Alicia Silverstone surfaced. I was  a girl who grew up in the 90s so Alicia was god and Clueless and Crush were my bibles.The vegan Alicia with bad skin and hair is just not my thing, I wish she could see herself as Cher would, “As if”

I mean, seriously. Remember Cher?

I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M’s and like 3 pieces of licorice.

Now imagine her chewing up her food and spitting it into her child’s mouth. The visual is as gross as Mary’s neighbor Magda tongue kissing Puffy.

 

“Famous Food” on VH1: Guilty Pleasure

12 Jul

As we watched a real New Jersey housewife fight with a fictional New Jersey Big Pussy, we realized celebreality has officially taken over food TV.

VH1’s Famous Food is the latest food show to pop up on a previously nonfood channel, a trend the Los Angeles Times wrote about recently.

The concept of Famous Food is that seven “stars,” some of whom aren’t shining so brightly these days, will create a new restaurant from concept to operations, with one winner.

The contestants are as varied as they are vapid. Our favorites were DJ Paul and Juicy “J” from Three 6 Mafia, who once tried to pitch a cooking show called Cookin’ Ain’t Easy and had this great quote: “If you can run a rap group with guys from prison, then you can run a restaurant.”

The Mafia boys were very happy to meet one fellow contestant, because they had a picture of her in their recording studio. Who was it? Ashley Dupre, who leveraged her fame from being Eliot Spitzer’s favorite call girl into her current gig as an advice columnist for the New York Post.

Keeping up with that theme was Vincent Pastore, aka Big Pussy from The Sopranos. From reality whore fame was The Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars contestant Jake Pavelka; Danielle Staub, who was booted off Real Housewives of New Jersey; and Heidi Montag, who had been on MTV’s The Hills before making the aptly titled album Superficial.

The celebtestants are responsible for taking over a restaurant on the Sunset Strip. They have 28 days to come up with a concept, name, menu, staff, floor plan design and just about everything else.

In week one, the concept becomes Italian-soul fusion after Big Pussy gives a long explanation about how “Italians and blacks have the same blood.” The biggest himbo on the show, Bachelor Jake, confesses that he doesn’t know what it means, but imagines a drumstick with a piece of spaghetti wrapped around it.

Heidi says that the name should be Fame, because they are all famous and half the concept is bling. Bada bling!

Everyone is amazed by how easy the decisions are at first, but inevitably heads butt and fake boobs bond. Bosom buddies Danielle and Heidi ditch the group for happy hour. Real tension builds between Danielle and Big Pussy: She calls him a big shot, and he is convinced that she is a Desperate Housewife (wrong show) and a complete and utter bitch. She so is.

What happens when they pitch their idea to the entrepreneurs who will actually have to fund the restaurant? A cold stare, finished off with an “It sucks, the idea.”

Shockingly, the girl we thought sucked, literally, for a living, saves the day. Ashley Dupre comes up with the name Picnic and has a concept of picnic tables. The investors love it and the show goes on.

Danielle’s hatred of the idea will have us tuning in next week. While Top Chef is on hiatus, this might become our new guilty pleasure.

Original published on sfweekly.com – Original Post

Ten Worst Celebrity Cookbooks

20 May

The must-have celebrity accessories change as frequently as the daily fro-yo flavors. Move over small dogs, adopted children, and Birkin bags, this is the age of celebrity cookbooks. Eva Longoria, G Pal, Sheryl Crow (author of If It Makes You Healthy), and of course Bon Appetit coverwoman Gwyneth, all released cookbooks in recent months, making SFoodie curious to count down the 10 Most Awesomely Bad Celebrity Cookbooks.

10. Cookin’ with Coolio: 5 Star Meals at a 1 Star Price

Who knew a gangsta’s paradise could be the kitchen? Coolio puts the G in gourmet with this collection of cost-conscious meals. With dishes like Cold Shrimpin’, Bro-Ghetti, and Chicken Lettuce Blunts, you simply can’t lose.

9. Mr. Sunday’s Soups by Lorraine and Chris Wallace

Shadowed by his famous father Mike, Chris Wallace had to pave his own way in the dirty weekend news business. He and his wife have shared their soup recipes with the world. We don’t think we’ll ever be comfortable calling him Mr. Sunday, he’ll always be Mr. Soupy to us.

8. Quarterback Killer’s Cookbook by Jared Allen

The title made us think we’d found the mythical O.J. Simpson cookbook we’d heard about/possible dreamed up. What we did find was a Viking of a man named Jared Allen. His cookbook features braised bear and elk Wellington. We love the amazing tagline, “No one serves up wild game — both on the field and off – like Jared Allen.”

7. Hallelujah! The Welcome Table: A Lifetime of Memories with Recipes by Maya Angelou

We all know that Maya Angelou writes and speaks with such cadence, but we didn’t know that she cooked. She authored her first cookbook in her late 70s and her second in her early 80s. Our favorite moment: her first night after moving to Sonoma, when she invited M.F.K. Fisher over for cassoulet.

6. Hot Italian Dish: A Cookbook by Victoria Gotti

Everyone’s favorite Italian-American princess is more than a hot dish – not only can can she dish the dirt at Star Magazine, she can also cook a hot dish. Her book focuses on bringing families together for everything from Sunday dinners to big meals after public court cases involving FBI agents.

5. George Foreman’s Indoor Grilling Made Easy: More Than 100 Simple, Healthy Ways to Feed Family and Friends

For a guy who’s gone from boxer to meat machine pitch man (and with the audacity to name all five of his sons George), it should come as no surprise that he has authored more than three cookbooks on grilling. If there is a food product, George’s name is all over it.

4. Skinny Cooks Can’t Be Trusted: In the Kitchen with Mo’Nique

Mo’Nique has a unique name, a funny stand-up act, and yet we always thought that her unshaven legs was the most interesting thing about her. The mother of all things Precious actually has a way in the kitchen, whipping up themed meals like “Fight Party at Mo’s” and “The Morning-After Breakfast.” Plus, we trust she knows what she’s doing because she ain’t no skinny chef.

3. Don’t Fill Up on the Antipasto: Tony Danza’s Father-Son Cookbook

Tony Danza went from boss to teacher, and in between dabbled in father-son cooking. “Don’t fill up on the antipasto” is an order — you’ll learn more about the Danza family than you ever wanted to know. From uncle John’s pasta to mother’s lasagna, the book weaves a family stories into each of the recipes.

2. Wise Guy Cookbook: My Favorite Recipes from My Life as a Goodfella to Cooking on the Run by Henry Hill

Cooking and the witness protection program don’t seem to go hand in hand, but for Henry Hill they did. This wiseguy on the run had to keep up his Italian roots even when hiding in places with no proscuitto (gasp). Hill shows that when life hands you rotten tomatoes, you make ziti and write a book. Plus who doesn’t love a good mob cookbook?

1. Joy of Liberace: Retro Recipes from America’s Kitschiest Kitchen

Think glittery frosted balls and recipes that include “Chicken a La King of Bling!”, “Flamboyant Flambe of Sirloin”, and, our favorite, “Fruit, Fruitier, Fruitiest Salad.” The recipes in this book play second piano to the pictures of his over-the-top kitchen.

Original published on sfweekly.com – Original Post

Sticking to Kosher Meat: For Love and For Health

13 Apr

Photo Credit to DinnerCraft on Flickr

It has been almost a year since my last relationship ended. It was a sad situation and it came in the form of a break-up email I had to send to my ex-boyfriend who was stuck in Europe. Since then, I made new friends and choices and was told by my business and religious mentor to stick to kosher meat. He meant this in terms of trying to strictly date Jewish men. The theory behind it was that while I am still young, my heart and livelihood would be better off if I only dated people that I would consider marrying. A rabbi later pushed this point by saying that marrying a Jew doesn’t guarantee success but it does help your chances for a successful marriage. Up until that point, I have dated a lot of “interesting” people but none of which I would have ever considered marrying: an out of work actor/scientologist, a homeless man, an anarchist named Pogo, and other winners. They were all beautiful and fascinating people but I decided to get serious about dating for the sake of less broken hearts. The journey with Jewish men has been healthier, rational, but not quite the amount of intensity (i.e. drama, according to Josie) that I was looking for. Through my time on Jdate I have discovered that there are a ton of non-Jewish women on there trying to nail a Jewish man…clearly there is something healthy about this idea of kosher meat.

In fact, if you read today’s New York Times article entitled More People Choosing Kosher for Health there is definitely something to this notion. According to the article there is a huge kosher meat trend not because of religious reasons but because the public views it as healthier and safer. All of the meat has to be processed under strict kosher law and is monitored extremely carefully, from the way it is killed to the way it is butchered. All kosher meat is also heavily salted which helps to keep away certain bacteria, making it a safe choice.

I can make obvious (albeit uncouth) links about the Orthodox Union heavily monitoring the meat to the Jewish mother monitoring her son or about the careful butchering of meat to Jewish men with circumcisions. However, what do you think? Do you view Jewish men and kosher meat as a safer and healthier option? I do, in fact, that is what I intend to say to my future Jewish husband before we eat kosher brisket at the wedding reception.

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