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Eight Dishes to Get Your Valentine Thinking About Sex

11 Feb

If you’re an avid SFoodie reader you know these last few weeks have been ultra scandalous, from a faux condom dessert to vegan vulva cake, we’ve no doubt gotten some of you in the mood. And with Valentine’s Day around the corner, we want you to stay that way, but with a bit more subtlety — like with these eight dishes designed to get your valentine salivating.

Carina's cheesy heart dip.

8. Cheesy hearts.
Stuff with hearts are mandatory for this holiday. We recommend making a simple artichoke heart and hearts of palm dip. Top it with cheese and roasted cherry tomatoes. Dipping and scooping will put you in the mood, and your date will know how perfectly cheesy and romantic you are.

7. Tossed salad.
A tossed salad can be boring, but never underestimate the double entendre. On love’s special day we recommend tossing in aphrodisiacs: rocket, phallic carrots, avocado, and pine nuts all have a rep as romantic stimulants, so toss ‘em in! During this course, feel free to mention in passing, “Howard Stern was talking about salad-tossing this morning. You’d never want to try thatwould you?”

6. Alcohol, the social lubricant.
On a holiday like this, remember: Rosé is okay, but bubbles are better. What’s better than better? Hard liquor! Couldn’t afford a romantic seaside escape? Make a Sex on the Beach. Also approved is any cocktail with the word “kiss” in its name, though the word “cocktail” sort of throbs as it is.

5. Get some balls.
The circular form just screams good time. We happen to think meatballs are best. They also often accompany spaghetti, which is a few steps away from some Lady and the Tramp action. Other ball variations we like: albondigas, falafel, odango.

4. Shuckin’ and suckin’.
Since the days before Caligula, oysters have been the world’s best-documented aphrodisiac. Hard to deny they share a likeness to ladyparts, from the way they’re opened (shucked) to the manner in which they’re consumed (slurped). Plus they’re packed full of protein, so they nourish for hours. Other seafood hotness: mussels and clams, which open up ever so lightly when steamed. And uni is simply the sexiest seafood there is.

3. Red hots.
Red’s the color of passion, whether from a nice slab of juicy meat, chiles, Syrah, strawberries, cherries, or tomatoes — so it needs to be on the table. The only things we caution against are beets. Though delicious, they’re not so great for romance. Hit the bathroom after dinner and you might think you have to hit up the emergency room.

2. Chemical romance.
It’s cliche to say that women prefer chocolate to sex, but often it’s true: Chocolate (mainly dark) hits brain’s neurotransmitters, leaving one feeling happy and energized. If only every man could offer such a payoff. After a piece of dark chocolate, your female date’s brain will be oozing positive vibes … followed, maybe, by other organs.

1. Bananas + cream.
Dessert time. Hot apple pie is for teenagers, banana cream pie is for lovers. Do we have to spell it out for you?

Original published on sfweekly.com – Original Post

S.F’s Best Restaurants for a First Date

19 Jan

It’s a new year and that means it’s time to update your dating profile. Valentine’s Day is around the corner and you need to find your special date/mate. And if you are lucky enough to find someone to go out with, you’ll have to decide where to take them ― like one of these 10 local first-date options.

Best Late Night Date

Absinthe

Are you trying to go out with someone who’s booked solid? We suggest Absinthe for a late-night date. Sit in the front room and indulge in cocktails and dessert. On a recent trip we had the Earl Grey pavlova with Meyer lemon curd and mint ice cream. Such mounds of goodness and strong cocktails might just be a prelude to seeing your date’s lovely lady lumps.

Best Wine Bar Date

Hotel Biron

Your date might give you a bit of a strange look or a text you a ??? when you suggest a place that has “hotel” in the name for the setting of your first outing. Relax: This adorable wine bar and art gallery is not an actual hotel, and your date will be instantly charmed to enter this back-alley establishment. The wine list is vast, the mood is romantic, and suddenly the idea of a hotel doesn’t sound so bad. After all, you’ll already have a reputation as the person who knows how to find and navigate the ever-so-pleasurable secret spot.

Best Bar with Hotel Option

Burritt Room

For dates who seem to be looking for just a drink, a good time, and are possibly DTF, we recommend hotel bars for first meetings. The Burritt Room serves strong and interesting cocktails, is a bit hidden, and if the mood arises a room in the Crescent Hotel is just an elevator ride away .

This Sufganiyot Sundae made with Humphry Slocombe Manischewitz sorbet and a Dynamo doughnut filled with Meyer-lemon jelly was a one-time Hanukkah collaboration, but you get the idea.

Sweetest Date Spot(s)

Dynamo Donut and Humphry Slocombe

Do you want to cream the hole but your future date will only offer you a midday date on a weekend? No problem. We know how to sweeten up an early afternoon date. Meet at Dynamo and order your doughnuts to go, then walk with your date to Humphry Slocombe for a scoop. You will have just shown your date two of San Francisco’s sweetest treats, proving yourself a genius matchmaker. We recommend pairing Dynamo’s maple glazed bacon apple doughnut with Humphry Slocombe’s Secret Breakfast and creating your own version of an ice cream sandwich.

Best Coffee and Tea Date
Stable Cafe
Coffee dates are not so glamorous; they’re definitely the most interview-like of all dates. However, if you insist on only dropping a few bucks for a cup of Joe, we suggest Stable Café. You enter through the largest doors imaginable ― the place was an actual stable in the 1800s and kept the mayor’s horses, before becoming an auto shop. Drop that fact and your date won’t mind that you’re only dropping for drip. If you’re really feeling your date, spring for the lavender sea salt shortbread. You won’t regret it.

Best Sushi Date

Umi

We love sushi, but there’s nothing more cringe-worthy then when someone mentions sushi for a first date. It screams “douche,” and you have to pray that your date is not a fan of cream cheese in their sushi. Umi is a sushi place that can please anyone: delicious and superfresh sashimi, some standard Americanized rolls, and delicious pork katsu donburi. The space is quiet, the food is good, and there are some paintings of naked ladies for setting the mood.

Best Romantic Italian Date

Poesia

Our most romantic memory is from childhood, with the spaghetti moment from Lady and the Tramp: two pairs of lips brought together via a strand of spaghetti. Hot! Italians do romance like no others, and a giant of bowl of pasta always warms the heart. Poesia (Italian for “poetry”) is nestled in the heart of the Castro. You walk upstairs as if you were visiting someone’s home. That’s how it feels inside: authentic Italian accents, homemade pasta, and old black and white movies projected on the wall.

Best Hands-On Date

R&G Lounge

Breaking bread is one way to get to know each other, but we prefer breaking crab. The salt and pepper crab at R&G Lounge is unbelievably addicting, plus you can watch your date use her hands and lick her fingers. Warning: The garlic comes on strong, so you may not want to go in for a kiss after it’s all over. Although, who cares? You just got to make out with a succulent Dungeness.

Best Separate but Equally Pleasurable Date

Shabu House

Shabu-shabu can be incredibly boring (it’s the watery, flavorless broth). That is so not the case at Shabu House. Order yours with spicy miso broth, and shabu-shabu becomes a pot worth dipping your meat into. Make sure you and your date get separate pots, since you definitely don’t want to get all into your date’s meat on the first night.

Best Big Beefy Date

Pagolac

The Tenderloin may not seem like a good place for romance, although in this neighborhood with a cut-of-meat-name you can get your meat served up in seven courses for a mere $16 each. Your date will think you’re edgy for choosing this part of town, you get to drop minimal bucks, and the little Vietnamese restaurant will charm the pants off anyone. Pagolac is minimally decorated, which means more attention for you. You also get to see how your date handles raw beef, as well as grilling, rolling, and dipping ― a culinary journey that ends with a beef porridge that should warm both of your hearts.

Original published on sfweekly.com – Original Post

Sticking to Kosher Meat: For Love and For Health

13 Apr

Photo Credit to DinnerCraft on Flickr

It has been almost a year since my last relationship ended. It was a sad situation and it came in the form of a break-up email I had to send to my ex-boyfriend who was stuck in Europe. Since then, I made new friends and choices and was told by my business and religious mentor to stick to kosher meat. He meant this in terms of trying to strictly date Jewish men. The theory behind it was that while I am still young, my heart and livelihood would be better off if I only dated people that I would consider marrying. A rabbi later pushed this point by saying that marrying a Jew doesn’t guarantee success but it does help your chances for a successful marriage. Up until that point, I have dated a lot of “interesting” people but none of which I would have ever considered marrying: an out of work actor/scientologist, a homeless man, an anarchist named Pogo, and other winners. They were all beautiful and fascinating people but I decided to get serious about dating for the sake of less broken hearts. The journey with Jewish men has been healthier, rational, but not quite the amount of intensity (i.e. drama, according to Josie) that I was looking for. Through my time on Jdate I have discovered that there are a ton of non-Jewish women on there trying to nail a Jewish man…clearly there is something healthy about this idea of kosher meat.

In fact, if you read today’s New York Times article entitled More People Choosing Kosher for Health there is definitely something to this notion. According to the article there is a huge kosher meat trend not because of religious reasons but because the public views it as healthier and safer. All of the meat has to be processed under strict kosher law and is monitored extremely carefully, from the way it is killed to the way it is butchered. All kosher meat is also heavily salted which helps to keep away certain bacteria, making it a safe choice.

I can make obvious (albeit uncouth) links about the Orthodox Union heavily monitoring the meat to the Jewish mother monitoring her son or about the careful butchering of meat to Jewish men with circumcisions. However, what do you think? Do you view Jewish men and kosher meat as a safer and healthier option? I do, in fact, that is what I intend to say to my future Jewish husband before we eat kosher brisket at the wedding reception.

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